Dating advice? How’s that for a lengthy reply to an extended concern?

I must confess i am really bashful, also simply growing up in the usa, I’ve a few normal buddies who’re girls plus the only intimate experience We’ve had with girls are ones kind enough and helpful enough to ask me down. Otherwise i might not have had a gf. 🙁

And so I’m in Korea for at the very least a 12 months on change study, and I also’d choose to take to developing a relationship with among the local girls from either the college, church, or perhaps introductions via buddies.

General question: exactly what are the do’s and dont’s of asking a lady out? Just how many ‘dates’ at the very least might be considered enough to ask ‘the question’?

Certain concern: If anybody understands, just exactly what do Korean girls in specific try to find? I have to include that i have seen a lot of exceedingly beautiful girls that are korean Seoul. with well. not very guys that are attractive. Quite definitely unlike almost every other nation i have been to! Just what exactly will it be?

As well as for girls as a whole: Say if a man continues sufficient dates with a lady, in which he are at least normal searching, but is courteous, type, and a broad person that is nice. will most girls be prepared to accept him asking her become their gf (if only away from courtesy also to maybe perhaps not harm the guy’s emotions?)

Sorry it’s quite long, but i recently desired to hear your advice!

13 Responses

Hey i am a Korean woman 🙂 I became created and raised in the us, but we result from a conventional family members. Both my moms and dads come from Korea and my loved ones is 100% Korean. My grand-parents have actually resided in Korea all of their life, and I also visit them every summer for a or two month.

Anyhow, to respond to the questions you have.

Korean girls, specially the ones that really inhabit Korea/have spent a substantial quantity of their life in Korea, choose to simply take things slowly. They do not hurry into a relationship, so when these are typically in a single, they simply just simply take things at a sluggish rate. In American tradition, kissing is one thing that comes obviously to all the partners after merely a dates that are few. In Korea, but, kissing is similar to *OMG*. Regardless of if it’s just regarding the cheeks, it really is a thing that is big. A kiss regarding the forehead sometimes appears as extremely intimate and meaningful. This is exactly why in Korean dramas (that I love!), it really is pretty uncommon to start to see the figures showing any style of physical contact (unless it is like punching somebody, haha), notably less kissing. In reality, in Korean dramas, a man placing his supply around a lady is huge.

Generally there’s one “don’t” you are in a relationship, take things veryyy slowly/whatever pace she is comfortable with for you: don’t rush into a relationship with a Korean girl that is completely Asian-Korean, and when. You really need to arrive at the main point where you two are some-what/very good friends if your wanting to even ask her away. As soon as you’ve officially become a couple of (yay), go on 2-3 times before keeping her hand/putting your supply around her arms. Just after a lot more dates (7-10) should you kiss her. Keep it be minded by it actually is based on the average person.

That has to suggest a “do” is: begin with tiny talk in some places. Introduce yourself (foreign individuals are extremely exotic), explain why you are in Korea/where you’re from, ask her for directions/ask her to assist you with one thing, etc. even though it’s some times real that individuals choose to talk about on their own, Korean people as a whole have thing against individuals they feel are nosy. Do not ask her concerns like “Where can you live?”, ” just just just How old are you?”, ” what is family history like?” because she will place her guard up. As you’re the foreigner, talk more about yourself, like exactly how things have been in the united states as well as your viewpoint in the things you have experienced in Korea (get them ton’t negative however! Just bring the things up you *like*, and just if she asks should you point out things you are not too partial to in Korea). Allow her get to know you and allow her to note that you’re not some creep. Become friends that are good her. This might simply simply just take some time, but it is one thing you need to be happy to do.

Korean girls have a tendency to seriously take appearance very whenever determining if they’re enthusiastic about some guy or perhaps not. You need to have hygiene that is good yes. They like some guy this is certainly high (or taller than them anyhow). I do believe international males generally speaking appearance appealing in their mind anyhow, therefore even though you are not just like the many guy that is handsome the usa, you will still be regarded as good-looking in Korea. Oh and simply one more thing about appearances, as opposed to popular belief in the States, glasses are not a turn-off for Korean girls. In reality, when you yourself have a couple of those modern-looking glasses that are framed use them! They could make some guy look extremely intelligent and sexy. (But needless to say, do not panic when you yourself have perfect eyesight. Dudes that don’t wear spectacles are similarly great, haha.)

After appearances comes character. Personality has also an impact that is huge their choice, brain you. They like some guy that is charismatic, funny, smart (does not have to become a genius that is complete but a man that understands what the conversation is approximately and it is able to play a role in it), and above whatever else, thoughtful. Korean girls (and I also’m certain most/all girls!) love some guy which will drop every thing to assist her cope with a tough some time is conscious of her emotions. They even like to cuddle, hug, and other items that produce them feel protected by the existence.

A Korean woman’s “dream man” is usually depicted into the dramas. You can watch some cute Korean dramas (not the action/horror/scary ones if you want to. ) and concentrate on exactly how the primary man character functions, dresses, treats the lady, etc. I would suggest viewing “Boys over Flowers”. For the drama, do not worry an excessive amount of about how precisely the people gown (they truly are all incredibly rich/famous dudes in the drama), but alternatively the way they treat your ex and how your ex responds and responds to exactly how she actually is being addressed. (in addition is certainly one of my dramas that is favorite.)

First and foremost, bear in mind that you must not alter who you really are for a lady, irrespective of where in the world you meet her. Keep real to your values, but do not forget to understand to understand other countries’ values.

Wow, we typed a great deal. How’s that for a lengthy response to a question that is long?

Edit: simply to comment on “Sore Bakka”‘s remark in the faith thing. that is false. Many Koreans are Buddhist or Christian. But that is perhaps perhaps not the number 1 thing they will be taking a look at. Needless to say, if faith becomes a nagging problem involving the both of you, you might like to reconsider your relationship, but apart from that, it mustn’t be an excessive amount of an problem. Simply do not get too spiritual right in front of her towards the degree that she seems forced into transforming.